I must first start the post to say that I borrowed this title from my friends of Seniors Ignite photography. Last week I was asked to be on their Google Plus show to talk about this topic. All credit for the blog headline goes to them.
We just conducted a survey with over 100 small business owners & asked them some open ended questions about their biggest challenge in business. About 1/3 of the responses had to do with the issue of balancing business & having enough time to do everything.
I also asked a question to my upper level coaching group of 15 entrepreneurs in our private Facebook group. I asked them to list the number one thing they are grateful for. Every single response centered around family, spouses, & children.
And all the while, we see leaders families imploding left & right. This happens in church, business, & non-profits daily.
We say we value family over everything but is this true?
I’ve got to admit, I’m writing this post out of weakness more than strength. I say my family is the most important thing to me but then I do things that doesn’t always communicate that to them. As a business owner, it’s extremely hard to “turn it off” when we go home.
We feel the pressures of payroll, hiring, firing, vision development, product delivery, customer complaints, and all the other stuff that comes along with owning a business. I got a call yesterday from a leader that said, “I am spent. I’ve been pushing so hard for years & I feel l like I have nothing left. I need to fire two people & I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”
So, the question is this. Is your business a home-wrecker? Here are three ways to know:
1. We are physically present but emotionally disconnected
Do Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, texts, & emails dominate your life?
At times, the answer for me is 100% yes. There have been seasons where I give more to social media emotionally than my kids. That’s sad. However, there are seasons where I’ve unplugged & created some good boundaries.
Here is the absolute truth… Our families are either getting healthier or unhealthier & if we are more connected to our phone than our family, we are on the pathway to our family being wrecked. Sounds extreme but it’s true. If we give more to the world than our family, we will gain the world & lose our family.
Now, this doesn’t mean you will get a divorce or your kids will hate you tomorrow. It simply means we will miss out on creating an awesome family with deep & intimate relationships over the long haul.
Are you physically present but disconnected emotionally?
2. We make excuses for why we work all the time
Alcoholics create reasons to drink. Workaholics create reasons to work.
There is ALWAYS an important reason to be working. There is always a reason we say yes to every meeting & opportunity. If you find yourself creating reasons for why everything is important and urgent, you are a workaholic.
I’m a recovering workaholic. I can 100% fall back into my bad patterns at anytime. I’m not saying it’s bad to work at home or nights sometimes but if you can’t quit, something is wrong.
When we create reasons to work instead of be present with our family, we simply are saying to them, “this project I am working on is more important than you.”
Are you making excuses for why you have to work all the time?
(I Wrote A Free Report Called Freedom Killers You Would Love If You’ve Made It This Far! Click Here)
3. We justify the means for the end
I know there have been times when I say, “I’m working hard so my family can have a great life. I want them to have great vacations, experiences, & have all their needs met.”
Guess what. My six year old Darby just wants daddy to be home. She cares more about a daily present dad than an annual trip to Disney.
Yesterday, as soon as I got home she said, “Daddy, will you watch me ride my bike.” She was basically saying, “Daddy, I want you. I want all of you to pay attention to all of me. Put your dang phone down & forget about cash-flow. Watch me ride daddy!”
So I did & I’m glad.
If we justify over working for a future we want our family to have, we will ultimately have big bank accounts & empty homes. Sure, you and I may stay married but it will just be a shell of a relationship.
When we justify workaholism in the present, we jeopardize relationships in the future.
So… Is your business a home-wrecker? Do you see any of these patterns in your life? If so, what are you doing about it?
Like I said, I don’t write this from a point of “I know all the answers”, I write this from the point of “let’s work on this together.”
Leave a comment & let me know if you have a struggle with this. What is your struggle & what are you doing to get better?